Things Married Women Should avoid Doing
1. Stop expecting your husband to read your mind.
Most women are naturally better at reading nonverbal cues than men. That’s a generalization, but it often holds true. Men aren’t as good at picking up on the nonverbals. We are more concrete in our communication. We need you to spell things out clearly with your words. Don’t be angry at your husband for not knowing something if you haven’t clearly communicated it to him. Be direct. He will appreciate it and it will save you both a lot of unnecessary frustration.
2. Stop using intercourse as a bargaining chip.
Most men have a greater need for sensual frequency than women. Again, this is a generalization, but it holds true in most cases. Sometimes a wife can be tempted to “leverage” this primal need in her husband by giving or withholding sex as a bargaining chip. It might not be spoken out loud, but there’s an underlying message that, “If you do this, you’ll get it, but if you don’t do what I won’t, then it will be a cold night for you.” Using intercourse as a rewards or punishment cheapens the intimacy in your marriage and causes resentment to form in both spouses.
3. Stop nagging your husband (or speaking negatively about your husband to your friends or online).
The tone of your words will shape the tone of your marriage. Don’t speak negatively to your husband or about your husband. Choose to build him up. This doesn’t mean you can never call him out for something he’s doing wrong, but even then, do it with respect. A husband can do anything if he believes his wife truly respects him. A husband will be tempted to give up altogether if he feels that he always falls short of his wife’s expectations. The Bible even says, “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.” (Proverbs 21:19)
4. Stop punishing your husband for “crimes” someone else committed.
This one requires a bit of explaining, but it’s a HUGE issue in many marriage. If you had a dad who walked out on your mom or an ex who mistreated you somewhere along the way, there’s a temptation to take that pain and mistrust and silently place it on your husband. It’s as if you’re waiting for him to hurt you in the same way that other guy did. Your marriage will never move forward if you’re punishing your husband for someone’s else’s mistakes.